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Sunday, July 17, 2011

"How does one become a butterfly?"

"You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar." - Anonymous

In other words, you must be willing to go through the necessary phases in your life to bring you out of the cocoon, so that you may spread your wings and soar instead of being on the ground looking at life from the lowest point of view.

Maya Angelou once said "We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty." The process of becoming a butterfly is tough. The caterpillar’s job is to eat and only those caterpillars that are willing to stop and separate themselves from their self-destructive lives are transformed.

Life after weight loss surgery is much the same. In the beginning, you are healing from the process (physically and mentally), you separate your current self from your old self, you start reassessing your life and you start making changes and setting new goals. You become a reinforcement to yourself and while everyone needs support from others, you find that you don't need to look to others for strength.

You start to feed off what has been living deep in your heart and you rid yourself of things that are no longer meaningful. Rather than making excuses for your eating habits, you take control of them. You set new rules for yourself and you follow them. You regain self-confidence and begin to like what you see when you look in the mirror. You find your smile and can hear your own laughter. You are learning how to fly (I call it "Flyer's Ed").

I am nearly five months into my own metamorphosis and while I am not quite ready to bust out of my cocoon and take flight, I am changing dramatically on the inside. This transformation is nothing short of a miracle and I thank God for blessing me with this experience.

This past week has been a good one for me. I am nearing the 75-pound mark (lost nearly five pounds this week) and my parents sent me some money as a surprise to "help fund my new wardrobe". I went shopping yesterday and discovered I am down another size. I bought two outfits that should last through the fall/early winter.

I am also going to have to clean my closet out again soon. I have a few outfits that I thought I could wear a little longer but after I caught a glimpse of myself on video wearing them I decided I needed to take them on my next road I can leave them behind in the hotel trash can...(if you are a new reader to my blog, read my post "Na, Na, Na, Na" and you will understand the humor in that).

Shoot, after talking about butterflies, all I can hear in my head now is R Kelly singing...I believe I can fly...I believe I can touch the sky...I think about it every night and day...Spread my wings and fly away...I believe I can soar...[music fades out]...


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